Losing my Mind
by musicalmidget
Summary: Rosie's reaction after Molly helps her into the house. I have a few tricks up my sleeve for this one. So it will be continued. Rated M for content.


**A/N: This is a little something I wished we could have seen in the movie, Rosie's reaction after the hospital. I plan on continuing this with a few tricks up my sleeve. **

Rosie sat up in the bed, a pain shooting across her stomach. Her hand flew to her abdomen, panic racing through her mind. She felt the warmth between her legs and she immediately shook Marco.

"Marco, wake up. I'm bleeding." She said, lifting the blankets. Marco sat up, not fully aware of what was going on. He looked at the opening Rosie had created in the blankets and he got out of the bed. She was bleeding, a lot. He pulled on his jeans and walked over to Rosie's side of the bed.

"I need to shower. I can't go like this." She said softly. Marco nodded and helped her out of her clothes and into the shower. Once inside, she watched the blood flow and swirl around the drain. She choked back the tears that threatened to escape. The pain that throbbed in her was nearly unbearable but she couldn't show that she was scared. She quickly finished the shower and got dressed. Marco helped her to the car and they drove in silence to the hospital. The entire time she couldn't speak. She knew what was happening.

As the car rolled into the parking bay of the hospital, Rosie's heart rate quickened. She didn't want to go in there and be poked and prodded just so they could tell her that he baby was gone. Marco parked the car and got out and grabbed a wheelchair before she could even get out of the car.

Everything moved in a blur. She didn't remember talking to the nurse about her medical history or even the feel of the plastic bracelet that was placed on her wrist. She pulled her knees up to her chest, as she waited for the doctor to come see her. When he came he did an ultrasound. She refused to even look at the screen. Just earlier that week she had seen her baby. She knew if she looked at the screen it would be blank, empty. They sat in silence as the exam progressed and the doctor excused himself. Moments later he returned. Rosie pulled herself up into a sitting position. The words came from the doctor's mouth in a haze, but they hit her hard. The tears began before she was able to stop them. She can feel her shoulders tremble as the sobs continue. She barely feels Marco's hand rub circles into the small of her back but when the doctor touches her in an act of sympathy it feels like a large hot coal has been placed on an open wound. She shrugged out of his touch, pulling her knees up to her chest, letting the sobs take over.

She wanted to scream. She may have been freaked in the beginning, but she had wanted that baby. The moment she decided to keep it, she had been excited at the thought of becoming a mother. Sure she was barely 23 but she was ready. All she wanted to do now was get out of this place. She wanted to run into the rain and let the water soak her to the bone. The doctor explained that she could go home when she was ready. She would never be ready. Marco helped her from the bed and helped her get dressed, though she couldn't feel anything.

The ride home was silent, it wasn't until he pulled in front of the house did she have the courage to speak. It was her fault.

"It's my fault." She whispered.

"No."

"It is, I wished it." She admitted. When she first found out she was pregnant she had momentarily wished she would miscarry so she wouldn't have to make the decision to keep it or not. She wanted nature to take care of it.

"I never even felt a kick." She said and grabbed the handle on the door.

"Congratulations, you're off the hook." She whispered and climbed out of the car into the pouring rain. It feels like a thousand needles jamming into her skin, but she welcomes the pain. She deserves it. Marco quickly climbs out of the driver seat and rushed to her.

"We aren't a couple, we haven't even been on a real date So we can stop pretending." She yells, just as Molly comes home, drunk. She helps her into the house, leaving Marco in the rain. She can't look at him. As the door closes behind them, she can hear him yelling her name. Courtney is standing in her doorway, with sleep laced eyes.

"Some of us have to work in the morning." She complains. Rosie can't take it anymore. She falls to the floor, shaking. Her roommates rush to her, both cradling her.

"He's just another guy, Rosie. He's an idiot for letting you go." Courtney whispers. They don't know. She never told them. She shakes her head.

"I lost my baby." She manages to choke out.

"Oh sweetie." Molly says, and pulls her closer to her. Courtney helps pull her to her feet and walks her to her bedroom and into the bed. Each of them climbs in next to her as she cries until her tears are done.

She wakes up the next morning, the sun shining in the sun, but her body aches. Her hand flies to her stomach, as she had every morning since she found out she was pregnant, and then realizes her baby isn't there. She wills herself to get out of the bed, but she is a shell of herself. She pulls back the curtain and sees her car parked in front of the house, and Marco asleep in the passenger seat. He didn't leave. She released the curtain, letting it fall back into place. She still wasn't ready to look at him. She crawled back into the bed, and pulled the blanket up over her head, trying to block the start of the day.

A knock on the door hours later brought her out of her cocoon.

"Rosie?" Molly called from the other side of the door. Rosie pulled the blanket far enough from her fave to respond.

"Go away!" she yelled. Molly pounded on the locked door.

"Ro, come on you need to eat something. Please come out here."

"I'm not hungry, please just leave me alone." She responded. They didn't understand. They'd never understand.

"You can't stay in there forever!" This voice belonged to Courtney. Rosie threw her blanket over her legs and bolted out of the bed to the door. She pulled it open and stared hard at the girls before them.

"Do not tell me what I can't do! I have just been through the most traumatic thing I could have ever imagined. And don't give me the "it's for the best" speech because I don't want to hear it. I wanted my baby. You don't know how that feels! To have this life growing inside of you, knowing that you can't wait to hold in your arms then have it ripped away from you. My baby died before it even got to live, before I was able to know if it was a girl or a boy. It died as a nothing. Dissolved into a mass of blood and tissue that is in a garbage can somewhere. Just leave me the hell alone!" She slammed the door in their faces and slid to the floor in front of it. She lay down on the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and cried. She'd never be the same.


End file.
